You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown.
» Write at least 150 words.
Depicted in the histogram is data on the hobbies of Australian youngsters from age 5-14 broken down by gender. The leisure activities listed include skateboarding or rollerblading, bike riding, watching TV or videos, electronic or computer games, and art and craft and it is clearly evident that all boys and girls of this demographic enjoy watching Television and videos in their free time.
Firstly, 100% of both Australian boys and girls enjoy TV and videos as a leisure activity. From here it diverges significantly as boys favor skateboarding or rollerblading, bike riding, and electronic or computer games more, whereas girls are more partial to art and craft.
Statistically, nearly 40% of boys participate in skateboarding or rollerblading while just over 20% of girls prefer the same. In regards to bike riding, approximately 3/4 of male youngsters partake in this as compared to almost 60% of females and 1/4 more boys engage in video games than girls at around 80% and 60%, respectively.
Girls however, spend substantially more time taking part in arts and crafts as nearly 60% engage in this hobby as compared to about 1/3 less boys.
Coherence and Cohesion 9
Lexical Resource 9
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 9
All the requirements of the task are fully explored and satisfied. No relevant information could be added to improve task achievement.
The essay can be followed effortlessly. Cohesion is used in such a way that it attracts no attention. Paragraphing is skillfully managed.
Precise and flexible use of vocabulary is evident throughout the essay. A wide range of vocabulary is accurately and appropriately used. Spelling and word formation are accurate.
A wide range of structures are used with full flexibility and control. Punctuation and grammar are appropriate throughout.
Task 2: Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate as too what forces are needed to clean up and sustainably manage the environment. Nation states and powerful corporations are important players and some feel that only they can help ameliorate the negative effects on our environment and that individual efforts in this regard are generally futile. I disagree with anyone claiming individuals have no influence in this matter and will elaborate upon this matter.
Government entities and powerful corporations do in fact have tremendous capabilities to improve the condition of our ecological systems. Firstly, states create the rules that society operates by and can thus pass legislation to protect the environment. To illustrate, a governmental body can propose and pass laws to protect forests from deforestation or incentivize reforestation. Furthermore, large companies can also have dramatic impacts by choosing to generate profits via helping revitalize the environment. An example can be seen in influential oil companies investing in clean renewable energy which is both beneficial to the biosphere and economically profitable.
On the other hand, individuals can make remarkable difference in improving the environment as well. To begin, individuals can control what they consume as well as what they discard. For instance, people can support and purchase clean energy along with or in place of fossil fuels and there are many programs offering this option in countries such as Germany, France, and Japan. Moreover, citizens can waste less by utilizing reusable bags for shopping and they could engage in composting their food scraps and recycling their old discarded products. In addition, citizens can monitor and conserve their electricity and water consumption.
In conclusion, governments can draft laws and big businesses can steer industries in cleaner directions but individuals hold great power in impacting the environment by what they consume and throw out. If all of these forces contribute their efforts into this matter, the environment will reap considerable benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion 8
Lexical Resource 9
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 8
All parts of the prompt are addressed appropriately and fully explored. A clear and well developed position is presented that directly addresses the question. Ideas are relevant and well supported. Nothing could be reasonable added to improve task response.
The message can be followed easily. Ideas and information is logically sequenced and all aspects of cohesion are well managed. Paragraphing is used appropriately. This essay falls a bit short of a full 9. It could be improved by repetition of key words or elements.
Full flexibility and precise use of vocabulary is evident throughout with sophisticated control of lexical features. Spelling and word formation are accurate with only extremely rare errors that do not impede communication.
A wide range of structures are flexibly and accurately used. The vast majority of sentences are error free. Only in paragraph 3 are some errors found. Ex missing indefinite article in topic sentence (can make remarkable difference) better (can make a remarkable difference) Omit the "and" in sentence 3 Ex (fossil fuels and there) better (fossil fuels, there) Paragraph 4 Ex ( their efforts into this matter) better (their efforts in this matter)
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