The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two diagrams depict information about available healthcare services in 8 countries and average life expectancy in three different nations. Overall, Japan have the highest amount of healthcare resources available for it citizens and the United States the least while the United States government spends the most per person on its residents and Japan the least.
The bar chart reveal that Japan has 14 hospital beds per thousand residents followed by Germany at 8, Netherlands almost 5,and the rest of the countries at around 4 and the United States last at closer to 3 beds per 1000 residents.
In regards to table on government health spending we can see that the United States spends most at just over $6700 followed by Netherlands and Japan at approximately $3500 and $2500, respectively. Japan have highest life expectancy at 83 years, followed by Netherlands at 80 and the United States at 78.
Coherence and Cohesion
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 6
The requirements of the task are covered, and there is a clear overview. Main trends (such as the contrast between Japan’s spending and hospital bed coverage) are highlighted. There could have been further illustration of the fact that the United States had the lowest health indicators.
There is a clear progression. A range of cohesive devices is evident [and | its | the rest | last | In regards to]. There was some overuse [and] and inaccuracies [Japan…it].
There is some flexibility and precision [highest amount | spends the most per person | just over]. There was not a wide enough resource to give a higher rating.
There were simple and complex structures, but error free sentences were not frequent. There was a systematic error with subject-verb agreement [Japan have].
Task 2: More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?
Living space is something that affects people in cities all over the world. As urban populations grow, many people are giving up more overall space and home gardens altogether. This is a negative development and is harmful for human beings and families.
Humans have had a lot of space to run around in and grow up in for thousands of years. First of all, being confined to smaller spaces is not conducive to optimal human health. People need to move more and lack of movement leads to problems such as obesity and heart disease. In my experience, when I live in smaller spaces I have less options to move around and I feel lazier and get less exercise. Furthermore, my body hurt because of not moving as much whereas when I move more, I feel better physically.
Another detrimental effect is the mental damage of separating people from the natural world. Firstly, lacking gardens and larger indoor space makes people feel more like their homes and buildings are the real world when in fact the actual world we are born into is a natural world, not a concrete and metal one. Science studies have shown that being in green and nature environments is good for peoples minds and eyes and living in small city apartments cuts people off from nature and leads to mental problems.
In summary, people are negatively affected by small areas and no gardens in their homes and need nature to feel good both mentally and physically. If people can have more nature in their lives, they will feel and think better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 8
A clear position is presented and developed well. Ideas are extended well and supported. The response could perhaps be improved by further extension and considering the societal impacts of crowded living.
The message can be followed easily, paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate, and cohesive devices are used well [their homes | when in fact | In summary | both mentally and physically].
A wide resource is used flexibly [lack of movement | detrimental effect | actual world]. There are occasional inaccuracies in word form and use [nature environments | science studies].
A wide range of complex structures is used with flexibility and error-free sentences are common [separating people from the natural world | people are negatively effected by small areas]. There are some mistakes [my body hurt] and punctuation is missing at times.